I’m a day late with Wishcasting Wednesdays but it just couldn’t be helped. I used to love doing these writing prompts back when I had a bit more time and my own office. Now I’m in such a public space that it’s a bit weird to write in my public blog while at work. Oh how I miss having my own office.
Not that I want to keep working in corporate world. I want to be a full time artist. That’s my big wish.
This is not what I want:
My little secretary/receptionist desk shoved in a corner with no room, little to no storage, under a bank of fluorescent lights. I hate being out in the open. I hate not having some privacy. I’m pretty sensitive so everybody who walks in the door who has a heavy presence, be it positive or negative really affects me.
This is what I want:
Light, air, NO CARPETING!, color, a huge magnetic white board, one section of wall that is mid-tone gray where I can make up my mood boards. The room has to be mine and mine alone. No husband. No pets. Just mine.
It doesn’t have to be new. I love old buildings and exposed brick, but I want it attached to my home. Or on my property – no separate studios for me. I want to work when I want to work, and not have to worry about parking or bad guys downtown.
I want my place to be funky with an ever changing style. Cluttered but creatively cluttered. Right now my “craft room/office” is boxes and clothing all over the place.
I need space. I am in school for graphic design. I have a monitor I hook up to my laptop, a tablet I haven’t used since I bought it because there is no place for it. A scanner that I have been carting around from cluttered room to living room and back again. A gigantic printer that is also being carted around.
But I also make jewelry and paint and draw and photograph my jewelry so I need areas for those things as well.
I walk into my room now and feel immediately claustrophobic. Clothes everywhere. Boxes everywhere. Trash in bags that need to be taken out that I always forget about. It’s like a room that would inspire an episode of Hoarders. I hate going in there much less trying to be creative in there.
It makes me sad. I want a happy place to go. I want it organized and fabulous. I want to work in there and spend time in there but right now I feel so overwhelmed that I hate going in there. I do nothing to make it work. We’ve tried but it just makes more boxes and more trash. I wish I could hire someone to come in and just do it for me. I wish I could say, “Fold those clothes and take them all to Goodwill, take those boxes too. You there, take out the trash.”
But I just stand there in the space I made to stand in to get dressed in the morning and I look around and think, no I can’t do this today. I’ll do it tomorrow. Tomorrow comes and it remains the same. And the next day, and the next.