Ain’t nobody got time for that!

Let me explain a little something about my personality. As one of my smartest friends would say, “Bitch be cray cray.” This apropos  colloquialism is translated to, “That woman is a little off her rocker, watch out!”

Regarding Customer Service: When I tell you something, listen to me. Do not offer me anything. Do not ask me personal questions for why I want what I want. Just say, “Thank you, Ms. Miller, I’ll get right on that.” Don’t make me get all up in ‘yo grill.

Case in point: Mike and I have one of those bundle packages of cable, internet and phone service. We decided to cut our cable service down to the absolute basic to try to save some money. We want to keep the internet we have so I can keep doing my homework at home. Finally we wanted to get rid of our phone service because we don’t ever, and I mean ever, use it.

Cable Lady asks if she can ask a few questions, and I say yes because, hey, what can it hurt? She asks the basic do you want more channels, what channels do we wish we could have, and then she asks, “Why do you need to cut your current bundle down to the bare minimum”.

What I should have said was, “It’s none of your business, please cancel my phone service and cut my cable to the basic package.” Instead, I said, “We are trying to save some money.” Hoo boy, that is the wrong thing to say to any Phone Customer Service Rep. For the next 10 minutes she tried to persuade me into adding channels, adding more phone services, adding, adding, adding. Oh she could give us a 6 month discount on this and that, “if it would help” me. Twice during this conversation I told her we had lost $600 a month in income and we could not afford everything we had previously. Twice! I should not have had to tell her at all!

She tries one more time for the hard sell, but I’ve had enough. Enter Ghetto Wendi who don’t take no shit from nobody.

Me: Lady, how many times do I have to tell you we lost $600 a month in income before you get that we can’t afford what you’re trying to sell me?

Cable Lady: Well, if you really want to go with the basic cable, I can do that for you.

Me: At this point, woman, I’m considering shutting off all my Cox stuff.

*crickets crickets*

Cable Lady: Okay, so you want to go with the basic starter package and keep your current internet. I’ll do that right now.

Me: Thank you.

Holy Mother of God! Why was that so frakking hard? I was polite at the beginning but then she started badgering and I ain’t got no time for that. None.

She finalizes the cut offs and says, “you know you can always call us back to get these things back once you get back on your feet.”

Are you shitting me? Are you SHITTING me? She doesn’t know why we don’t have that money anymore. She doesn’t know it was a choice and that basically things are okay and that there is no “getting back on your feet” because we’re not off our feet. The fake sympathy and the badgering were just too much.

When she started to say is that all I cut her off with a curt thank you, my mam taught me to be polite, and hung up. Yes, Cox will get a strongly worded letter from me.

Thanks to a fabulous suggestion by an equally fabulous friend, I called Cox back and filed a complaint. In the end we got another $20 knocked off our cable bill for six more months. So we’re going to save, now, $120 a month. But even that call there was some trying to sell me some stuff. Ridiculous!

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